We've got just one day to go before Lucy's g-tube placement! I am soooo stressed about it! I've had a tension headache for 2 days now that just will not quit! I am ready for it to be Friday so that the procedure will be over and Lucy will be resting in my arms again.
I have done everything I can to prepare her and myself for the surgery but at this point there is nothing left to do but wait.........and when I have to wait I just over think the heck out of the everything and drive myself insane!
I had been feeling pretty numb about the whole thing until the sudden realization hit that Lucy's belly will never ever be perfect again. I know that sounds crazy and I don't want to sound overly dramatic about things. But a 3 year old's tummy is just so soft, round and cute. Every parent blows countless raspberries on their kiddo's tummy to hear their squeals of laughter- but, for Lu, that perfect belly will be no more. Its frightening to think that in just another day she will be swollen, red, and sore around a new hole in her belly. I am dreading the first moment that both her and I see it. I dread having to see her afraid and upset when she sees her "new" stomach. I dread knowing that such a traumatic event is in Lucy's very near future.
At the moment, Lucy actually seems to be looking forward to it, excited to be able to "eat" in her sleep. I'm sure once we are in the hospital she will change her tune though. I went to the store and bought several prizes to reward her with as soon as we are back in our hospital room after the surgery. I figured I had better be prepared!
I am going to spend the time we have left before the surgery remembering that every state is only temporary. Thursday will be an extremely difficult day for Lucy, but by this time next week Lu will be up and smiling again here at home.
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